Here's What I Think.
The problem with people who are highly self-aware is that they are highly self-aware. Highly responsible, accountable and considerate of the other. Less thoughtful, compassionate and kind towards themselves. This is known as intrapersonal conflict - the psychological back and forth about our thoughts, our values and our principals. Not surprisingly, highly self-aware people suffer from intrapersonal conflict more than others (hence the term ‘ignorance is bliss’).
Self-awareness is a gift and a curse. The holy grail of personal development and an internal torture device system. I discovered my own awareness of self when I was six or seven, reading the story of Pandora’s Box. Even before she opened it my heart was filled with dread. I knew what awaited her and I knew, in that moment, that I was Pandora, unable to stuff my understanding and intuition back into a box.
I sought out solace in philosophy, religion and spirituality. My search for inner peace led me to incredible teachers and practices. Each brought me deeper understanding, articulation and a quieter mind. But all of it was temporary.
Eventually, I decided to stop the search. Take a break from transformation. Hang out with my self as I was. I wasn’t trying out a new method, just pressing pause for a moment before I headed back out to search some more.
But in the pause I found quiet. In the pause I found acceptance. In the pause I found enormous space and freedom for all of myself. In the pause I found the peace that I had been seeking out, regardless of my emotions or whatever was happening outside of me.
This is an invitation for you to press pause on your own search and see if what you are looking for is already there. This isn’t a method or a belief, it’s just something I fell upon that has brought me release and relief. I offer it to you in case it brings you some, too.